Positivity and Relationships

People often ask how they can bring positive energy into their lives.

The answer is that it begins with common interactions we all have on a daily basis.

Interacting & conversing with people without a conscious plan can lead to negative conversations that consist of complaints, insults, and overall negative energy.

So, how can we have positive interactions with people?

4 Ways to Have Positive Interactions with People:

1. Start with a positive greeting.

We use greetings during every interaction we have (sometimes subconsciously). Choose positive greetings over neutral & negative ones.

Examples:

Negative greetings: “This weather really sucks, huh?” Or “Hey what’s up, I don’t know about you but I feel like shit.” You’ve set the tone for the convo without even meaning to do so. Complete negativity will likely persist.

Neutral greetings: “What’s up?” “How are you?” I’m sure these greetings meant something at one point in time but now they’re overused. The “canned” greeting gets a “canned” response. “Not much, you?” Or “Good, you?”

Plus, the greeter has less control over the direction of the conversation which can allow for toxic negativity.

Positive greetings: “What’s the good word, my friend?” (This statement is likely more accessible to males.) Or Girls (and guys) can use: “What a beautiful day, we’re so blessed.”

Or you compliment the other person on a quality you admire about them. “Good to see you Brian, your smile always makes me feel at ease.” These greetings set the tone for the conversation & make it difficult for your counterpart to complain or bring negative energy to the interaction.

2. Set the tone by beginning the engagement with a genuine smile & hold the smile.

Make sure the other person sees that it’s not the customary phony smile — instead it’s a distinct smile — a differentiated smile — a smile that could only be generated by a lover of life.

As a result, your counterpart will most likely smile (since humans mirror each other) and the interaction will begin (and likely continue) in a positive light.

3. Don’t add negativity.

Refusing to say a negative word about anyone or any situation is like smothering a small candle w/ a gallon of water. This is passive resistance at it’s finest. This non action extinguishes the negativity immediately. for a more aggressive approach, try to change the subject to something positive.

Example:
Frank (negative energy): “I can’t stand Greg. He’s so selfish, boring, and ugly.”
Francois (positive energy): “Tell me about your night last night, it sounded like you and ______ were having such a great time at dinner.”

If Francois had continued to insult Greg, it would have been like throwing gasoline on a fire and nothing good would have come from the conversation. Instead he changed the subject to a positive topic.

4. Talk “Good” Behind Someone’s Back

We’ve all heard of “talking shit” behind someone’s back. One of my favorite practices (hopefully lucid) is flipping that around.

Scenario 1 (social norm, what usually happens):

Caroline: Emma is such a bitch. I can’t sand her

Steph: Yeah, you’re right. (Thinking to herself: Jeez I wonder what Caroline says about me behind my back.)

Scenario 2 (destroying the social norm, changing status quo of negativity/gossip):

Karolina: Emma is such a great friend. She’s so trustworthy & she’s always helping others. We’re all lucky to have her.

Steph: Yeah, you’re right. (Thinking to herself: It’s pretty cool that Karolina constantly uplifts everyone around her.)

Next time you have the opportunity to converse, how can you bring positive energy to the interaction?

~Paz